My grandmother died on Monday. She was 89. She had been in very good health until my grandfather moved into the same nursing home that she lived in. I’m spreading a theory that he killed her. She was adamant that he not only NOT be living in her room but that he be put on the other side of the building. She knew he was going to touch her stuff. I have problems when the husband touches my belongings. I just never knew it was genetic.

He was really sick when we he moved about a month ago. She was fine. She would go visit and when he would fall asleep she would head off to see what her friends were doing. My cousin said that he saw them last week sitting side by side in their wheelchairs. My grandpa would poke her with his foot and she would punch him. Then he would pester her more by pulling on her blanket or pushing her chair until she punched him again. I guess after 67 years together you just feel like punching each other.

She went downhill very quickly in the past few weeks. Congestive heart failure and secondary kidney failure.

The husband had to go to the funeral. This is big because he doesn’t believe in funerals. He not only made it through two viewings and the services but he was a pall bearer. My parents said that he needed to get the full experience. My mom was lobbying for the three female grandchildren to be pallbearers too but my aunt said that she didn’t know if we could handle it because my grandmother was a large woman. This was taken to be the high of sexist behavior until the funeral was over and the pallbearers all started talking about how unbelievable heavy the coffin was. They all said that they were trying to be cool and carry it with one hand without looking like they were straining but … she was a large woman.

I think the husband was the life of the party. He usually avoids my family’s gatherings so none of my cousins really know him. They were all amazed that he talks. I tried to tell him that he talks nonstop from morning to night but they were still amazed. At one point he was holding court in a side room of the funeral parlor with various relatives and my brother’s future father-in-law. He has decided that he found some people he can relate to so he may not be so adverse to family gatherings in the future.