I have a thieving silver demon in my house. It is the only explanation. How else would it be possible that we now seem to own two spoons and one fork? We don’t take them out of the house so the rest have to be in here somewhere. We don’t have loads of dirty dishes sitting around. But for the last month there has been a steadily decreasing supply of silverware in the house and we are now at crisis level.

I’m going to have to break down and go buy new silverware. I’ve been avoiding that because it is physically impossible to lose all your silverware in your own house. Maybe the thieving demon has decided to branch out from sock stealing to silverware…