Husbands and horses

/ posted in: FamilyHorses

In the past weekend the husband has been giving off signs that he truly understands my thinking. Well, maybe “understands” is taking it a bit too far but he recognizes how I think.

He called me last week from San Francisco. The first words out of his mouth were, “I don’t know how much this will cost but…” Those words stop my heart. They are usually followed by something like, I decided to buy something totally useless that will deplete our bank account and make it hard to pay the bills, ok? But instead this time he followed it with, “I found a place we have to go on vacation sometime.” Ok, this is just informational. My heart is going again.

Him: It is a resort in Belize.
Me: Ok.
Him: Listen, there is no TV and no radio.
Me: Are you going with me?
Him: Yes.
Me: (taking a moment to contemplate the horrors of spending more than a few hours with the husband when he is deprived of tv) Ok.
Him: They serve all organic food and there are horses to ride and there are places to hike. I was reading this article and kept thinking that you would love this.

That is so sweet. Especially since that description of my ideal vacation is very close to his idea of hell.

Then the other day we were going out to put the horses outside. He had volunteered to help. That’s strange all by itself. He mentioned that he saw some lights in a magazine. He thought we should get them to light up the outside of the barn. They were…wait for it…solar powered! I stared at him with open-mouthed awe. At times like this I’m sure he is dying. If I had suggested solar powered lights he would have gone off muttering about crazy environmentalist liberals.

We went in the barn and I handed Spirit to him. I chose Spirit because he is the second best behaved horse we have. Prize is the best but she intimidates the husband. Besides Spirit loves to go out so he shouldn’t be a problem. Yeah. He went out ok but refused to go in the pasture. The husband let him go at the gate and he turned around and went out to the lawn to graze. I grabbed him and headed him the right direction. He tried it on me but didn’t get as far. The husband offered that up as evidence of why he doesn’t like working with them. He says they are always bad for him.

I believe him more now than when he first used that line on me. At the time we just had Spirit and he was boarded at a place where we had to put him out and in by ourselves. The husband drove past on his way to work. I thought it would be good if I went and put Spirit out and cleaned his stall. Then on his way home the husband could put him in. That worked well for a while and then he started coming up with excuses for why he couldn’t do it. He eventually confessed that Spirit was being mean to him. He said that Spirit would run him into fences. I didn’t believe this at all. My sweet little Spirit? No way. Then one day I went out to get him and Spirit forgot who was on the end of the rope. While walking down the pasture he gradually edged me towards the fence. It was so subtle that I didn’t notice until my shoulder touched the fence. I turned to look at Spirit. I’ve never seen, “OH @#$#$%!!!” so clearly etched on a horse’s face as at the moment that Spirit realized it was me and not the husband that he had pushed into the fence. He was forcibly backed up to where we had started and then walked back without nudging.

Since then the husband is convinced that the horses hate him. I try to explain that they actually think he is quite entertaining and fun but he doesn’t appreciate it.