Not dead

/ posted in: General

I haven’t died or dropped off the face of the earth after the last post. Likewise, I have not gone to jail for mauling, maiming, or murdering the ex.

Actually, I feel great. That last conversation with him was exactly what I needed. I think I was in the bargaining stage of grief and his stupid comments pushed me firmly into the anger stage. After a day of that I moved right on into acceptance. Other people’s stupidity will do that for me.

But by the time I realized that I was feeling much better, I had already made plans for the weekend. I had figured that I would need to be distracted so I made plans to go to PA to visit the parent people. I just hung out there with them. I did have to go shopping with my mom and SIL because all my pants are too big (thank you divorce diet!).

I did get a call yesterday from the ex. He seemed concerned that he hadn’t heard from me. Guess you shouldn’t have moved out if you are worried about not hearing from me.

When I was driving to PA a song came up on my iPod that I always used to sing to Prize. I would change the chorus to “I’ve got Prize. I’m taking her for a ride.” I never really paid attention to the rest of the lyrics. It could have been written for my situation. (Except for the first line). I’ve decided to make it my ‘kiss my ass’ theme song.

Bye Bye by Jo Dee Messina

Boy you sure look good there standin’ in the doorway in the sunset light
Maybe I read you wrong thinkin’ you could be my Mr. Right
I was puttin’ my heart and soul on the line
Said you needed some time, just a little more time to make up your mind
Well it’s been long enough
Time is up

Bye bye love, I’ll catch you later
Got a lead foot down on my accelerator and the rearview mirror torn off
I ain’t never lookin’ back. And that’s a fact.
I’ve tried all I can imagine
I’ve begged and pleaded in true lover’s fashion
I’ve got pride, I’m takin’ it for a ride
Bye bye, bye bye my baby, bye bye

Don’t think all those tears are gonna hold me here like they’ve done before
You’ll find what’s left of us in a cloud of dust on highway 4
Baby what did you expect me to do
Just sit around and wait on you
Well I’m through watchin’ you just skate around the truth
And I know it sounds trite
I’ve seen the light

I’d lost the game I guess
I did my best to win the part
Now I’m leavin’ here with what’s left of my heart.