Sad excuse for living

/ posted in: General

I’m feeling momentarily sorry for my ex.

It is a weird feeling.

It started out most randomly. For some reason that I can’t even remember now I was thinking of a friend of his while I was driving home. I couldn’t remember his name. I remembered his wife’s first name but not the last name and not his first name. I could see him. It wasn’t at all important but it was one of those things that once it gets in your mind you just know that it is going to bug you until you remember.

While I was checking Facebook I decided to look at the ex’s profile to see if he was listed as a friend since I knew I would recognize the name if I saw it. This should be a sign of how much it was bugging my brain.

I read through the list of about 200 friends. Then I realized something. There were people whose names I recognized from his childhood stories. Most people I hadn’t heard of. But there was absolutely no one from the time he spent in this state.

He was here for about 15 years. I wasn’t around for all of it. It isn’t like everyone he ever knew here was somehow linked to a bad memory of me. There were people here who did a lot for him – including the guy I was trying to remember. No one is there. It was like he wiped out all those years. That made me feel very sorry for him. How can you exist for 15 years in a place and not have a single person that was important enough to want to stay in contact with?

He always talked about how much better his life was before he moved here but I guess I never really realized the depth of his hatred for his life. It didn’t make sense to me. My attitude didn’t make sense to him. He told me once that I was the kind of person who could be content in any situation. He meant it as an insult.

He burnt a lot of bridges, not only with me, when he left. I guess he meant to. Seems like a really sad way to live though.

I did eventually remember the name. That made me happy. I’m sure that proves his point that I’m simple. LOL