She’s Baaaaak!

/ posted in: Family

Have you ever had an existential moment courtesy of electronic equipment? I was cleaning stalls this afternoon. The wheelbarrow was bogged down in snow that was deeper than expected. I was clearing a path for it by walking the path I wanted the wheelbarrow to take. As I was jumping up and down to pack down snow for a manure-filled wheelbarrow in 20 degree temperatures my iPod was giving me a cheery rendition of Girls Just Want To Have Fun.

At 5:00 the husband called. Let me give you the direct quote. His opening lines were delivered quickly and without taking a breath.
Him: So, mom’s in Cinncinatti already. Did they hook up the TV?
Me: What!!!?
Him: (regular voice) Did they hook up the TV?
Me: Oh, no way. You aren’t changing the subject. Why and how is she back in the state?

Turns out she managed to drive back in the car that she wants us to buy her. The husband is treating this as a coming back to pick up her stuff trip. His brother gets released in 10 days so she’ll need to be back then. I’ll believe it when I see it. I am amused by the fact that this car has no heat. She’s complaining because she’s freezing in it. She spent a year complaining that the other car we bought her had no air conditioning so she should be happy now right? This one has air.

The husband and I went out to eat so we weren’t here when she got here. I said that she would probably make him carry her luggage in again. (Last trip she went on she came stomping in complaining that the lights were off in the garage and then sat on the couch and demanded that he go get her suitcases because she couldn’t see in the garage. I guess she doesn’t know how to work the lightswitch.) I told him that I would bet him money she would do it. Being male he wanted to bet something more ‘interesting’. Then we practiced appropriate responses to seeing her again. I rejected a cheery, “Hello! Why, we missed you so much!” He said I should go in and give her a big hug but I would only do that if I could be stabbing her while I had her in a headlock. I decided to go check on the horses while he went in first. As I was coming back from the barn he was coming out of the house. Sheepishly he looked at me and said, “I’ll come see you later to give you your winnings.” She may be evil but he’s the one who just does what she asks.

We also heard from the missing contractor today. It must be our day for big reunions. He claims to have been sick. But he miraculously recovered when he found out that we were going to hire his brother to finish the job. The husband said that if he misses another day he’s fired. Yeah, right. The husband is just way too easy going. But he wants this room finished so much (especially now that the TV is working) that I think he’s going to get nasty about it.