Tag Archives For: adoption

10 Dec, 2015

Where Women Are Kings

/ posted in: Reading Where Women Are Kings Where Women Are Kings by Christie Watson
on April 28th 2015
Pages: 256
Genres: Fiction, Literary
Format: eBook
Source: Owned
Buy on Amazon (affiliate link)
Set in England

The story of a young boy who believes two things: that his Nigerian birth mother loves him like the world has never known love, and that he is a wizard   Elijah, seven years old, is covered in scars and has a history of disruptive behavior. Taken away from his birth mother, a Nigerian immigrant in England, Elijah is moved from one foster parent to the next before finding a home with Nikki and her husband, Obi.   Nikki believes that she and Obi are strong enough to accept Elijah's difficulties--and that being white will not affect her ability to raise a black son. They care deeply for Elijah and, in spite of his demons, he begins to settle into this loving family. But as Nikki and Obi learn more about their child's tragic past, they face challenges that threaten to rock the fragile peace they've established, challenges that could prove disastrous.

Goodreads

It is all Trish’s fault. It was a slow morning at work so I was on Twitter while waiting for patients when this happened.


I vaguely remembered hearing about that book and so I clicked the link to read about it and then Amazon 1- Click happened and then I was 25% of the way through the book before the day got busy.

Trish is a bad influence.


This is the story of Elijah, a seven year old boy who was born to Nigerian immigrants in London.  His father dies soon after his birth and his mother’s grief makes her unable to care for a baby.  She takes him to a church to look for help being a mother but is told that the baby is possessed by a wizard who the pastor can get rid of if she brings him some money.  This sets up years of abuse of both of them.

And we’re back to people misusing religion for their own gain and people being manipulated into believing it all – it seems like that’s a theme in the books I read.  Alternatively, that may be the theme I pick up on because that fits my world view.

Elijah is being adopted after being removed from his mother’s care.  His adoptive family is made up of a Nigerian man and an English woman who is white.  They are not told all the details of what happened to him because his birth mother is under psychiatric care and revealing what she has said would violate her privacy.

Elijah thinks that he has a wizard inside him who makes him do bad things and makes the people around him have bad luck.  Only his adoptive grandfather who is from Nigeria understands partially what he means.  No one else has the cultural vocabulary to discuss this with him.  Even though many of the caseworkers are of Nigerian ancestry they are English and don’t understand how real the wizard is to Elijah’s birth mother.

This is a short book that discusses some of the potential problems with transcultural adoption. It also highlights the joys involved too.

 

09 Oct, 2015

Introducing — Paul!

/ posted in: Pets

We have a new family member here.  Things have been rough since losing Riley but I had been on the lookout for a new cat.  Cats generally just show up but the husband was getting impatient.

Last Sunday we went to an auto parts store.  There is a large private animal shelter next door.  The husband was staring at it.  He said that I hadn’t even looked there.  I said that I had looked on the website.  He kept staring.  I asked if he wanted to go in.  He said yes.

I told him that this was a bad time to get a cat because we are going on vacation soon.  He agreed to just look.  I should have known better.

The cats at this shelter are kept in small glass rooms in groups of about 5-6 cats.  You can go into each room and sit in a chair and meet the cats.  When the husband walked up to room 10 he saw a large tiger cat sitting on a cat tree by the window cleaning himself.  He was impressed by the cleanliness.  Riley was a bit lacking in personal hygiene.  Powder would occasionally make a point to walk up and sniff his head and walk away in disgust.  That would shame him into bathing himself.

This was a quiet cat who liked getting petted but wasn’t obnoxious about it.  He was born at the shelter in 2013.  His name was Terry.  He was adopted when he was 3 months old. He was returned 11 months later for being too active.  (Seriously?  They had him through the horrible kitten crazy months.  He had probably almost outgrown the crazy when they brought him back.) He’s been at the shelter since last July.  His first family named him Paul.  Who names a cat Paul?  It is sticking though.

He got vaccinated before we left the shelter so he was quite angry.  He spent the first night hiding in the computer room.

The second day I made him get out from under a dresser and told him I was tired of his self-indulgent pity party. I moved him to a bathroom with no hiding spaces. I also brought home a pheromone collar to calm him. It worked. In 15 minutes he was demanding belly rubs.

The next day he moved to the bedroom and therefore had to interact with Freckles and Powder.  Powder is pointedly ignoring him.  Freckles wants to be friends so badly!  Every time he came out from under the bed, she’d be in his face wanting to love him.  The dog has no chill.  He ignored her except for the one time he smacked her for putting her nose in his ear.

He has been staying either under the bed or in the closet.  He likes to be petted a lot but won’t initiate.  He also isn’t eating to my liking.  He’s getting canned food to try to get him to eat and that is making everyone else so jealous.  He’s learning to eat while a dog is literally trying to break through the door to get to the yummy food.

Now he has full run of the house.  He goes out of the bedroom at night.  The first night he was roaming I found some cat toys that I haven’t seen in years spread out in the living room.  He’s starting to walk over to me to get petted instead of making me crawl under the bed.  We keep reminding ourselves that this is normal cat behavior.  Living with aggressively friendly cats can make you forget that.  I do NOTHING alone with Powder around.  Riley used to think that when I sat on the toilet it meant that I wanted a cuddle.  But even as in your face as Riley could be, he only did it for a few minutes a day.  Powder’s constant need to supervise my every move is an anomaly in the cat world, not Paul’s behavior.

I think he’s going to be fine.  It won’t surprise if he eventually comes more out of his shell.  It has been less than an week so far.  Someday I may look back on this post and laugh about talking about his shyness.

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