The husband’s view

/ posted in: Adoption

In the course of discussing carpet today the husband asks, “How many do you want?” I answer, “one” because one color of carpet in a room is plenty.

Then he says, “Total?”

I say, “What are you talking about?”

He says, “How many kids?”

I give my stock answer to this question which is, “One at a time.”

He says, “Why?”

Why? Why? Why are we discussing this now? Haven’t we discussed this before? He picks two days before the homestudy visit to think maybe he wants to adopt multiple kids? I guess I should be happy that he didn’t bring it up for the first time during the visit. Then he starts pointing out kids to me. He picked a group of three kids at the theater and asked, “What if it was three kids like that?” I asked if he had gone insane in language that I really shouldn’t use once we have kids.

I always thought that we would adopt one now and then maybe adopt two together later. I thought that going from no kids to multiple kids wasn’t such a great idea. I thought he agreed. Maybe it is because he’s a middle child and a twin and I’m the oldest child that we have differing viewpoints on this. I was envisioning time spent playing with just one kid.

I know that it will be much easier to find kids in the age group we want if we open ourselves to sibling groups. I’m going to have to sleep on this. We’ll see if he even remembers this conversation tomorrow.

He brought up the idea that he could work from home again part-time. He mentioned that before. But when I brought it up about a month ago he said that there was no way he ever said that and that it was a crazy and impossible idea. When I reminded him today that he said it was impossible he decided that I was the one who was crazy. He never said that. I should carry a tape recorder around so I can remind him of what he really says.