These Dreams

/ posted in: General

I always have long, detailed, strange dreams. Occasionally I get a recurring theme. I used to have one where I needed to go back and get a high school dipoloma.  I didn’t go to calculus and physics because I didn’t like them. When it was time to graduate I had to go explain to the guidance counselor that I was going to fail because I didn’t go. It would always end with me realizing that I have a doctorate so a high school dipoloma is irrelevant. One time the dream started and I said in the dream, “I know how this one ends. I don’t need a dipoloma.”  The dream ended right there and it hasn’t been back.

It got replaced by one that really annoys me. It happens every few months. The details are always different but here’s the gist. I have to go back to vet school for a new mandatory post doc program. It is two days before classes start. I have to move to another state and find a place to live. I won’t be able to work so I have to live on whatever is in my bank account right now for a year. That isn’t going to work. I feel like I should ask my dad to give me a monthly stipend like he did in real vet school but I don’t want to and the amount is too small to live on now. I also have to figure out what to do about the SO. Should he stay home or move with me for a year?

I’m always really anxious in the dream. I don’t have any desire to go to school. It is annoying and I want to get past this one.

What are the underlying issues here?

Security-  not having a place to live or money to live on, feeling unprepared but not wanting to ask for help, wondering where the SO fits in

That’s interesting to write out. I don’t think I feel that way much when I’m awake. I do have a tendency to worry about running out of money but I live fairly frugally so that isn’t really an issue anymore. It was during my marriage and especially right afterwards. Moving? The SO wants to move for work but I think these dreams predate when he started talking about that.

I’ll have to think about this more. I want to find the key so I can stop these dreams too. Although the one where you could ride a roller coaster to the school was sort of cool.