You know you’re a medical type if….

/ posted in: Fitness

In April I found a breast mass. I wrote about it here. I’ve been poked and prodded, ultrasounded, mammogrammed, and aspirated all to find out that no one could tell what it was. Possibly infectious but antibiotics had no effect. Come back in 6 months for a recheck was the decision.

Over the last two weeks it has been changing. It seemed to be getting closer to the surface and the skin over it was bruising. It also was really sore. I assumed this meant that it was infectious and it was going to try to abscess.

Now I am famous for my love of pus. I’m at my happiest working on the nastiest of abscesses in cats. I love it so much that if I miss a good pus case I’m immediately regaled with “You would have LOVED this…” stories the next day. I knew it was only a matter of time until I couldn’t stand it anymore and tried to stick a needle in my mass.

The specialist and I had a discussion in May about whether or not I could stick myself. (This was when I admitted to thinking about doing the fine needle biopsy myself. I let him do it though.) My lack of pain tolerance delayed me for a few days but when the pain in the mass started interfering with life I decided to act.

I went into the bathroom at work today with a tiny little needle (wimp!) and poked a hole in myself. Nothing happened at first and I was quite disappointed. Then it blew. The pus came pouring out. I’m standing there thinking, “This is so cool. I know my tech would love this.” Then I realized that I was standing there with my personal bits hanging out and it would be inappropriate to invite in an audience. My mama taught me some decorum.

Of course once it stopped leaking I came out and told my tech what I just did. She was in fact proud and disappointed to have missed the fun. I also immediately texted the SO and called my mom because I was proud. They are weird enough that they were also proud. I’ve decided that I’m surrounded by very strange people.

Now I have to go call my doctor and tell him that I exploded and see if he wants me on more antibiotics. I’m pretty sure he’ll be proud that I poked a needle in myself too.