I’m going on vacation next week. I’ve been dreading it since September.

We are required to take Z over her spring break. We make it a vacation. Last year we went to D.C. That was fun.

This year the SO decided that he wanted to take her to see his family. They haven’t seen her since 2008. That would be fine if they lived anywhere else in the universe. But they live in Orlando.

Z is Disney Obsessed. She has been many times. I think that going to Disney World once in your childhood is totally sufficient. She talks nonstop about what she is going to do whenever she goes to Disney next even when there is no trip planned. She watches a Disney resort propaganda film over and over as entertainment.

I can’t stand the whole entitled spoiled brat thing. If she was nice about it that would be one thing. She’s not. I hear her behavior there is atrocious too. The last time her mother took her she was so bad that the other family they went with no longer speaks to them.

I am NOT taking that kid to Disney.

The SO said they would go for a day or two. Z believes, despite six months of being told otherwise, that we are going to Florida to spend a whole week at Disney. When we say yet again that we are going to visit family, she has a meltdown. When she found out we weren’t staying at a Disney resort she had a meltdown. When she found out that her father refuses to pay for any extras like breakfast with princesses, she had a meltdown. He finally had to ban her from saying the word “Disney” in my presence because her comments and nasty attitude were making my head spin around.

I will end up in jail if I go into that park with her. I know it. I will be staying at the resort lounging by the pool while he takes her. Her response to that? “Why are you even going on this trip if you aren’t going to Disney?”

Deep breaths. In with the good air, out with the bad air.

Did I mention that we are driving? Four eight hour days of driving? I told the SO that I was going to pretend that I was in a protective bubble in the front seat and I can see and hear no one. That way when they start fussing at each other it won’t bother me at all. I’ll be deep breathing and thinking happy thoughts.