Someone started pounding rather insistently on my door this morning. As a very unsocial person (who happened to be in the bathroom at the time anyway) I tend not to open my door. When a period of time had elapsed I went to see if someone had left a package.

What I found was a police car in my driveway and a policeman coming out of the barn and looking slightly relieved to see me.

I mumbled a “sorry ’bout that – downstairs – wasn’t sure if I heard someone or not.” I know it is bad to lie to the police. But I figured an honest, “Hey, I was ignoring you and hoping you would go away.” was worse.

Turns out that my phone had been calling 911. This becomes even more strange when I remembered that I don’t have an actual phone connected to my landline. (There is a direct connection between not answering the door and not answering the phone.) I use the phone line for internet access only. I live in the country. We don’t have high-speed.

According to the policeguy cordless phones will call 911 if their battery gets low. That’s sort of a sweet mechanical call for help if you think about it. But the phone that I have that isn’t even connected is not cordless. This flummoxed the policeguy. So he had 911 call me back after I plugged a phone in. It would give half a ring and then disconnect.

So he suggested that I call the phone company and have them get out there. They seemed confused but not in a hurry. They’ll get someone out tomorrow.