Writing that last post reminded me of one of the more surreal evenings of my life. I was in my last year of vet school and had picked up a nasty infection while treating a cow. I was on high-powered antibiotics and of course got another type of infection. I was able to self-diagnose this because I had been seeing those soft focus Monistat ads for years so I knew all the signs. It was 10:00 PM on a Sunday night so I headed to the local Kroger’s.
I wandered over to the appropriate aisle and found a neatly written sign saying that all yeast infection treatments were locked up in the cosmetic counter. Ok, it was 10:00 on a Sunday night – there was no one working at the cosmetic counter. Swallowing any vestige of pride or dignity, I went looking for a store employee.
That was hard to find but I had made it harder by deciding to find a female one. I finally found her and told her what I needed. Alas, she was not the keeper of the key. She told me to go to the cosmetic counter and she would send over the keymaster.
What she sent over was her 18 year old, pimply faced, male manager. Great. He loved his new assignment. He unlocked the case and laid out a selection of medicines with a style usually reserved for high-end jewelry. He started to extol the virtues of each medicine. He was particularly fond of a medicine that had an attached sample bottle of aspirin.
He: That is your best deal.
Me: Going with the moment But I don’t have a headache so I don’t need that.
He: I have a headache. If you bought that one you could share it with me.
Me: Uh, I don’t think so…
I bought an aspirin-free version and got out of that store ASAP. In the years since I have made a point whenever deciding to shop at a new grocery store to check their ‘feminine products’ aisle. I’ve never found another one that locked them up like gold.