I was reading It’s Monday!Â What are you reading? posts one day and realized that lots of people read lots of books with shirtless men on the covers and I never do.Â My only thought looking at them is, “I bet he’s cold.”Â Then I realized that my grandmother would be so proud!
My grandmother liked to read.Â She had a Harlequin books subscription and had hundreds of books.Â All the books were the same.Â They were all Regency romances and they were clean.Â Think Jane Austen but not so naughty.Â In the absolute raciest of these books people kissed once before they were married.Â In most of them people got married and then there was an epilogue where children had magically appeared.Â My mother and I referred to these books as Grandma’s Smut Books.Â In her honor we are going to Bath in May (the location of most of the books) on what I am calling the Smut Book Tour of England.Â I don’t think my mother wants me to get shirts made.
So maybe it is my upbringing that makes me avoid sex scenes in books and movies.Â The worst is sex scenes in audiobooks.Â Witch With No Name had a long sex scene that I was trying to fast forward through.Â garblegarblegarble…He touched her..garblegarblegarble…She found his…garblegarblegarble etc.Â I just hate the break in the story telling.Â Outlander made me crazy with this.Â They are supposedly running for their lives but they keep stopping and having sex.Â I wanted the British to find them indisposed and shoot them both just for being stupid.
I had a short story published once. This is ironic because it is erotica. I wrote it just to see if I could after I saw a call for stories about sex and science and my first thought was, “I know about science!”
So, I’m in a shirtless man book (under a fake name) but don’t ever read them. I haven’t even read this whole book.Â I thought about writing more but I figured I should read some books to see what was expected and I just couldn’t summon up the willpower.
Is it just me or do other people get bored during sex scenes in books too?