Banana by Dan Koeppel/ posted in: Reading
Why Book Blogging Is Not Like Real Life
I work with someone who tells a story about the time her tall blonde friend went out to a bar wearing an entirely yellow outfit. At one point, for some reason, a drunk guy started yelling at her, “Shut up banana!” Now, occasionally. when we really annoy her, my coworker tells us to “Shut up banana!” It’s the perfect insult. There’s no comeback for it.
Every time I looked at the cover of this book I could hear her voice saying “Shut up banana!” It was sort of annoying. So I decided to tell her about it.
“I’m reading this book called Banana. I keep hearing your voice say..”
“Shut up banana. Why are you reading a book called banana? Is it actually just about bananas?”
Why? That’s a silly question. Because it’s there. Because it gives me knowledge. Because it’s a book. Of course I read it.
“To get smart. Did you know that there is a disease called Panama disease that’s wiping out banana plantations all over the world? All commercially raised bananas are genetically alike. They could go extinct. It happened once before. The Gros Michel was wiped out but they found the Cavendish variety just in time.”
She stared at me, horrified. “I like bananas. I don’t want them to die. What would I eat?”
That’s me- an absolute fountain of knowledge. Now every time she insults someone she’s going to worry about mass extinction.
I took the book to work one day and another coworker with a biology degree saw me reading it.
“Is the banana book just about bananas?”
“Yep.” I gave her the whole run down about bananas going extinct.
Pause. “I would read the @#$% out of that book.” Yes! I spent the rest of the day handing out random banana facts like how many governments in Central America the banana companies overthrew. There is a banana variety in Brazil that never turns brown but has the texture of an apple. I pointed out how many suicides there were by high ups in the banana world. Bananas are way more complex than I’d imagined.