Yesterday was a day of aggressive dogs.  My staff is good with handling most of them but these guys were special.  One even got sent away before I saw it because he was lunging at the assistants and the owners were too scared to muzzle him.

One came in his own muzzle.  He was a bit confused.  He would growl and glare while vigorously wagging his tail.  He needed to get some bloodwork.  This decision of mine caused my staff to glare at me mightily.  I was going to draw the blood and had my best aggressive dog handler holding him.  I was kneeling in front of him and just inserted the needle when he jerked and then my whole left side was warm.

He had stressed himself out so much that he gave himself a nosebleed. He tossed his head and covered me in blood. Somehow through this the needle stayed in and I was able to draw the blood we needed. He sat quietly afterwards and his nosebleed stopped when his blood pressure went down. He was wagging his tail and all happy after that.

My lab coat, my left leg, and the sleeve of my shirt where it stuck out past the coat were not happy. I soaked them in peroxide immediately but it wasn’t coming out.

I went to lunch at Subway with a leg and arm splattered with blood. No one batted an eye.

I’m wasted in medicine. I need to go on crime sprees. No one ever notices anything odd about me.