We’re having the Christmas post-mortem at work today. It is hilarious. Everyone got at least one gift that made us question if our male partners had ever met us before. The clear winner was the battery powered socks (with a D battery that straps to your leg) and an outdoor shower (to be used as a portable dressing room for a dance recital).  I think if your socks are battery powered they should walk for you.

My entry was a keychain from Coach. I don’t have any good feelings for Coach, I have the same keychain I bought when I was 17, and it was ugly. It was a long leather strap. Perhaps if I got shot and someone was digging out the bullet without benefit of anesthesia I could bite down on it? I didn’t want to hurt his feelings but I was never going to use it. So we returned it yesterday. The saleswoman knew him when he walked through the door. I wonder what he did to make that kind of impression.

I did get some fancy handwarmers which was very nice. It would have been nicer if Z hadn’t chimed in with, “He got those for Mommy too.”  I looked at him. He buys a present for his ex from Z. That’s fine. It was no big deal if he hadn’t added in by way of explanation, “They were a two for one deal.”  Feel the love.  LOL

Z started crying after she opened her presents. The SO asked if there was something specific that she was hoping for that she didn’t get. She said no but that these presents “just weren’t good enough” for her. Read that as “not expensive enough”.  She’s learrning that there is a big difference in the amount of money her mother and father will spend on her. Her mother has a higher income (plus lots of child support) and we value living simply.  We aren’t poor by any means but he talks to her a lot about the value of money and the importance of not wasting money. I keep telling him that when she grows up she is going to be shocked to find that we weren’t on welfare. I guess she asked on the way home if Santa goes to poor people’s houses or just to good people’s.  Getting a decent ethical person out of this kid is going to kill us all.

The food would have all turned out ok if the turkey would have cooked in 50 minutes like the package said intead of 2.5 hours including microwaving it at the end. Everything else was a bit soggy then.

Freckles had to go beat down the neighbor’s granddog on Christmas. He is an uppity thing who needed to learn a few manners so they asked Freckles over to instill them in him.  He tried to boss Freckles around and she backed him into a corner and told him to knock it off. He’s been on his best behavior since then.  I laughingly told my neighbor that arranging dog fights was wrong and that was going to call him the neighborhood Michael Vick from now on. He was so happy because Freckles has solved two uppity dog problems for him now that he didn’t care. The next day I had to rescue Freckles from three young Huskies at the dog park so I guess she isn’t the reigning champion anymore.  She was just scared because they wanted to play too rough and loud and wouldn’t back off. She didn’t get hurt at all except for her pride.