General

Narcissistic and Self-involved

This really made me mad yesterday. I saw in this an article in the Star. Yeah, yeah, I know. But I had had a rough day and was getting to sit down for the first time and it was there at work so I read it. I realize that this might not be the best source for this woman’s true ideas since the article appeared near pictures of Jessica Simps*n’s boobs and Aston Kutc*er’s webbed toes.

Anyway, the article was about Oprah adopting a child. It mentioned that she would probably adopt an older child.

    But prominent East coast psychologist Dr. Patricia Farrell advocates precisely the opposite. “It’s ridiculous,” Farrell says. “Part of having a child is the mess; it’s when you bond. The first three years of a child’s life are the most important in his or her development. If someone only wants a child who’s potty-trained and talking, I would suspect the person of being narcissistic and self-involved.”

Count me in as narcissistic and self-involved. If I adopt I want an older child. There are so many older kids in the world who need homes. Is this lady saying if the magical third birthday passes the kid by then they need to give up any hope of a family?

Can’t bond with someone if you can’t change their diapers? I’m pretty bonded to the husband and I met him when I was 25 and he was already potty-trained.

People throwing around these kinds of stupid ideas is why more people don’t consider adopting older kids. I’ve heard these from people I know when I’ve talked about it.

4 Comments

  • Ally

    I agree with you totally. We had the adoption agency lady around on Wednesday. They just don’t *have* babies up for adoption. The youngest you are likely to get a child is 18 months, and that’s pushing it. I don’t see why older children should be denied that chance of a family.

    We’ve also been looking at fostering an older child – there’s a specialist agency here that I’ve made some enquiries to, that focus on placing children between 10 and 14, who have been in and out of care all their lives. Precisely because people like that psychologist write them off.

    Sorry to rant.

  • E T

    I have to agree with you on this one. Older children are very much in need of families, and are often more difficult to deal with than the younger children because they have been removed from homes, exposed to our crazy foster system (my sister fosters kids, and some of what these kids go through — before they get to her — is really awful), and so on. Just because they aren’t all cute and cuddly doesn’t make them any less deserving of a wonderful home.

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