The kid was being good last night and this morning. Lately spending time with her has made me doubt my lifelong desire to adopt. But she was being decent and even making an effort to be polite.

Then we went to a kids’ museum and that was going good too. We went to see a film there and five minutes before the end she lost it. Screaming and attacking her dad. She got her butt hauled out of there and out of the museum.

We were headed out to the parking lot with a screaming kid and the SO was asking, “if we adopt, can we request a nice kid?”

“There are usually psych evals to read first.”


During the discussions of the next few minutes he asked if she intended to start being nice to me. She responded with an emphatic

“My mommy doesn’t believe in Heather!”

So there you have it folks. I’m imaginary. Quite possibly the product of the SO’s overactive imagination. I must have imagined meeting his ex since she doesn’t believe in me.

I cracked up. I guess I’m available for sidework as a freelance imaginary friend and might possibly work up to Snuffy on Sesame Street level someday if I’m lucky. Now I just have to break it to my mother that she imagined those hours of labor.