Gift giving and receiving occasions stress the husband out.  I keep telling him what I like.  I think I’m simple and easy to buy for.  He does not.

My guidelines:

  • I like reading and animals and quilting and photography.  Buy me something to do with those things.
  • I like practical stuff more than fancy stuff.  I tend to get irrationally angry if you buy something simple that is outrageously priced because it has a designer label on it.  Just avoid labels. 
  • I like consumables or intangibles – – food or tickets to a play/concert or a membership to a museum, for example
  • Basically, I’m cheap and I don’t like fancy stuff.  How hard is that?

Apparently, it is hard.  But this year he asked for a list of books that I might like.  I was so proud.  I made him a list of 6 books.  My mother also requests lists so I told her that he had a list and I gave her a list of a few other things like a new SD card for my camera.  I told them to share their lists.

I figured that maybe they could each buy one book from the list for Christmas.  Maybe they could go hog wild and get one each for my birthday and Christmas.  I was wrong.

The other night he said out of nowhere, “I’m not sharing the book list with your mother.”


“It’s mine.  She can’t have it.”

I sighed at him.  Then I realized that he was treating my Christmas list like a grocery list.  He was thinking he needed to buy everything on the list and if he came home without something he better have a good reason.  I tried to explain that this was not the case.  He wasn’t having it.  I told him I was going to tell my mother on him.

He said, “I’m not scared of her.”  This is a bold faced lie.  In various stories he has likened her to a drill instructor, the Gestapo, and the Spanish Inquisition even though he likes her.  I called him on it.  He got grumpy.  I let it go.  He also mentioned that he was supposed to find out what kind of SD card I needed.

The next morning he whispered.  “You know, I really am scared of your mother.”

“I know.”

“So I need you to text me the details of the card so I can text them to her.  Don’t tell her I told you though.  I don’t want to ruin the surprise.”

Dude, that’s NOT how gift giving surprises work.  You are supposed to surprise the person getting the gift, not the person buying the gift…

What Do You Think?