Gift giving and receiving occasions stress the husband out. I keep telling him what I like. I think I’m simple and easy to buy for. He does not.
- I like reading and animals and quilting and photography. Buy me something to do with those things.
- I like practical stuff more than fancy stuff. I tend to get irrationally angry if you buy something simple that is outrageously priced because it has a designer label on it. Just avoid labels.
- I like consumables or intangibles – – food or tickets to a play/concert or a membership to a museum, for example
- Basically, I’m cheap and I don’t like fancy stuff. How hard is that?
Apparently, it is hard. But this year he asked for a list of books that I might like. I was so proud. I made him a list of 6 books. My mother also requests lists so I told her that he had a list and I gave her a list of a few other things like a new SD card for my camera. I told them to share their lists.
I figured that maybe they could each buy one book from the list for Christmas. Maybe they could go hog wild and get one each for my birthday and Christmas. I was wrong.
The other night he said out of nowhere, “I’m not sharing the book list with your mother.”
“It’s mine. She can’t have it.”
I sighed at him. Then I realized that he was treating my Christmas list like a grocery list. He was thinking he needed to buy everything on the list and if he came home without something he better have a good reason. I tried to explain that this was not the case. He wasn’t having it. I told him I was going to tell my mother on him.
He said, “I’m not scared of her.” This is a bold faced lie. In various stories he has likened her to a drill instructor, the Gestapo, and the Spanish Inquisition even though he likes her. I called him on it. He got grumpy. I let it go. He also mentioned that he was supposed to find out what kind of SD card I needed.
The next morning he whispered. “You know, I really am scared of your mother.”
“So I need you to text me the details of the card so I can text them to her. Don’t tell her I told you though. I don’t want to ruin the surprise.”
Dude, that’s NOT how gift giving surprises work. You are supposed to surprise the person getting the gift, not the person buying the gift…