A total stream of conciousness post

/ posted in: General

I discovered the world of conga lines this morning. I had no idea these existed but it seems like a good idea. You know those Free IPod, etc. sites where you need to get a bunch of people to sign up after you? Well, with a conga line you sign up after someone else in line. Then your link gets into the line and people will sign up after you. It seems like it should work in theory but I have my doubts about it working for real. But, I’m a skeptic and I’m willing to be proven wrong so I figured I’d sign up for a few. If nothing happens then fine but I might get something free out of it.

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Personally, I am glad that Prince Charles finally gets to marry whoever he wants. It would have saved everyone a bunch of trouble if they had just worked this out in the first place. Bunch of bullies I say trying to get everyone to live according to archaic rules.

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I have become an expert at dog communication. My dog has worked very hard to teach me. For example, I wake up at 3 AM because I am being pierced through by the concentrated gaze of a Pomeranian.

Me: Huh? What? muttering incoherently and hoping it is all a dream
Snowball: Oh good, you’re up. I need something. Guess what it is.
Me: Go back to sleep. I know this will not work but I feel the need to try it anyway.
Snowball: Turns the gaze back on but I am immune now. So she goes to the door and stridently scratches it.
Me: Alright, alright. I get up because I know if I don’t she’ll start barking and wake up the whole house. Are you out of water? Please, let it be the water. I don’t want to have to go let her out. Ok, no water. So sorry. Here I filled it up. Go collapse back into bed.
Snowball: The sound of drinking fills the room. I hold my breath as she stops and pauses while walking back to her bed Do I need to go out? I’m up and she’s up even if she’s pretending to be dead now. It will be at least 4 hours before I can safely wake her up again. You should always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. Authoritatively scratches door My, would you listen to the mouth on her? Just get up and let me out.
Me: Put on a robe. Stumble to the door. Endure the cold wind as the dog runs out and pees for about a second That hardly seemed like a ‘bladder about to burst’ emergency.
Snowball: Come on, come on. I’m tired. I want to get back to bed. Wait, am I hungry?

That is one of the easier conversations because it happens so often. Other times I have no idea what the stare or scratching is about. But when I figure it out, she is just so proud of me. She spins in circles and jumps up and down. I just know if she was taller she’d pat me on the head and say “Good girl.”

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I finished reading The Know It All by A.J. Jacobs. I like it. It was about a guy who read the entire Encyclopaedia Brittanica. Very funny. It made me want to read an encyclopedia but I would settle for World Book. I never liked the Brittanica. Too much little print and not enough color pictures. I used to read my grandmother’s World Book all the time. That’s how I learned about sex. I looked it up in the encyclopedia. My mom was also a health teacher and I corrected her tests for her so I learned about sex and drugs that way but I learned the real mechanics of sex from World Book. I always was a geek.

Speaking of geekiness I’m reading The Complete Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy
now. I listened to a tape of the radio show a few years ago but I couldn’t remember much. When I saw the trailer for the movie I wanted to remember what it was about so I borrowed the book from the library. There is a whole prologue that tells how the books and radio show totally contradict each other so I guess it doesn’t matter if I don’t remember the others.

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I’ve decided to make a cowboy boot quilt next. It is going to be one of the prizes at my trail ride in July. I’ve wanted to make a shoe quilt for several years but never motivated myself to do it. Yesterday I went and found a fabric for the border that will serve as the theme fabric. It will give me a palette to work with for the whole quilt. It has a pale orange background with purple, blue, and green swirls. It is prettier than it sounds. I promise.