Body For Life

/ posted in: General

I got out my short sleeved shirts and found that the XLs are fitting a bit too well, if you know what I mean. So one of my coworkers and I are doing the Body for Life challenge.

I won her over by telling her that she gets to eat six times a day. Then I upset her by telling her that chocolate doesn’t count as one of the meals.

It is an 84 day challenge consisting of small, frequent, healthy meals and an exercise routine. The exercise is a lower body weight day followed by a 20 minute cardio day, then an upper body day followed by cardio. Repeat.

The first thing you are supposed to do is to put on a two piece bathing suit and take front and back pictures. Excuse me but I’m fat. I have the decency not to own a two piece bathing suit. Sport bra and shorts? I’m a D cup. They haven’t made a sports bra that can handle that yet. I need scaffolding. Posing in fancy bra and underwear feels a bit creepy although I did say that if Shelley was so inclined to want to strip to her skivvies in the office I’d take her picture and splash it all over the internet. She declined for some reason. I believe I’ll take some fully clothed “before” shots.

Then we did the secret measurements. I don’t think they are supposed to be secret but we’re women. We looked at the before and after pictures in the book. We decided that our goal is to look like most of the before pictures at the end of our challenge. There is nothing worse than reading about people skinnier than you whining about being fat. So if you are bigger than me, sorry about being annoying.

Right now I weigh 199 lbs. I’m wearing size 14 pants only because I buy the kind with lots of stretchy stuff. Immediately post-breakup I was 170 lbs and wearing size 12 non-stretchy jeans. Stupid happiness makes me fat.

Our challenge ends on July 22. We decided that July 22 is coming whether we work out or not. We might as well be in better shape when July rolls around. The people we work with are skeptical because this isn’t our first grand plan. Won’t they be surprised when we’re hot? LOL