How to make a quilt

/ posted in: Hobbies

My brother is getting married in April. I am going to make him a quilt whether he wants one or not. I was inspired by a quilt I saw in the background of a shot from Simply Quilts. It had (at least in my impression of it) a center made of bright colored hourglass blocks. Then that center was tilted and a new rectangle was made using four corners made of black and white splitrail blocks.

So, here’s the process of making a quilt.

1. Decide on the design.
2. Spend several months congratulating yourself on deciding on a design.
3. Finally sit down to lay out the quilt.
4. Realize that there are a lot of angles there. Pythoragus can’t help with all of them. Spend some time trying to remember sines, cosines, and tangents.
5. Realize that you put 7 semesters of trig and calculus in the farthest corners of your memory never to be retrieved again. If you had known that someday you’d need them for a quilt you might have let them have a bit of light.
6. Just randomly decide that there will be eleven six inch blocks across the center and 14 down. Amaze yourself when the math turns out perfect.
7. Multiply 11 x 14. Panic at the number of blocks to be made. Suddenly April isn’t so far away. Simplify quilt to all splitrail blocks.
8. Sit for a while and debate about hourglass vs. splitrail because you are a bit of a quilt martyr and if it isn’t insane it doesn’t seem worth doing.
9. Realize that if the wedding is in April then the bridal shower will be even earlier. Splitrail it is.
10. Announce to the husband that you are going downstairs to quilt. If you are seen upstairs again before the quilt is finished you are to be beaten and sent back downstairs.
11. Start cutting strips. Realize blade is too dull. Realize you don’t have any extras. Come back upstairs.
12. Convince husband that there are extenuating circumstances so he shouldn’t even try to beat you.
13. Several days later get new blades. Start cutting strips. Quickly get bored cutting strips.
14. Force yourself to cut strips from one color a day. Realize you have lots of fabric to cut in each color. Spend some time admiring your fabric. Remind yourself repeatedly to focus.
15. Get four blocks done to distract from the boredom of cutting strips.
16. Look around and see two charity quilts that need finished before Yule.
17. Wouldn’t it be nice to make a Yule-themed table runner?
18. Remind yourself to focus.
19. Spend time blogging about making a quilt instead of actually working…..