Them Crazy Christians

/ posted in: Work

The Wildhunt Blog has an article about anti-Harry Potter with illustrations from a tract. I was interested because I’m a Harry Potter fan and the tract was written by someone who had obviously not read the books. I went to the site and read the whole tract. The Nervous Witch.

Don’t read this if you don’t have either a strong stomach or a lovely sense of the absurd. My favorite line is at the end when it says,” you need a Bible to read every day. A King James Bible. It is the only English version that Satan hasn’t messed with.” I laughed uproariously. Then I texted my sister in law to see what version she reads. I know it isn’t King James and I can’t wait to tell her that she is obviously heading straight to hell – most likely in a handbasket.

They have lots of other fine info on Wicca. It is written by “former Wiccans.” Some excerpts:

“…I found that after about five or six yeaars it was necessary to begin pursuing the study of the “Higher Wisdom” of Satan in order to keep growing. Magick is like a drug. You keep needing more in order to stay at a level at which you feel fulfilled. There is no end to it!

If you’ve stayed a Wiccan or “white” witch for a long time, it’s only because you don’t have enough of the Promethean itch to grow. OR it may be that you have many Christian friends or loved ones praying for you. Did you ever think of that?

Uh, no. Good thing I’m a natural slacker, I guess!

All you have to do is spurn Jesus Christ and you are a satanist! If you remember nothing else from this book, remember this:

ALL pagan religions are controlled by Satan!

It doesn’t matter if you worship Pan or Krishna or Diana or Thor; the face behind the mask of your god is Satan’s.”

Sorry to the Hindus too who just got lumped in with all us other satanists.

“We were the ONLY married couple we knew in all our years of Wicca that didn’t get divorced!

In Milwaukee, we had psychic wars between groups. Witches were shooting at each other in the streets because of adultery! Curses were filling the air like mosquitoes on a hot Wisconsin night!”

Probably a good thing I’m a solitary then if we are all going around shooting each other. The one public ritual I went to didn’t have anyone shooting anyone though. Maybe they weren’t REAL Pagans.