Weekend Wedding

/ posted in: FamilyGeneral

I spent the weekend driving with my mother to a wedding in VA, then going to the wedding, and driving back. In the middle I managed not to beat my mother over the head with a hot curling iron which was quite an accomplishment, let me tell you.

She started in on me while I was getting ready for the wedding. She’s super passive-aggressive at times so she cheerfully announced that she brought two sizes of curling irons and some manipulator to make my hair stay in place. She’s always hated my hair no matter what I do with it so I know what is about to come. Then she let go of all her passive tendencies and went full on aggressive. The line “I don’t know why you insist on being so ugly” was used. That seemed harsh even for her. She said that we should go let my sister in law do our makeup so we (and by “we” she meant me) could learn how to do it. I didn’t even try to explain that the SIL and I use the same makeup in the same way. She then started in on weddings being a good place to pick up men. I had to explain that I didn’t see the point of picking up men in VA when I live several states away. On and on it went.

So then I texted my sister in law with the “so ugly” line. We share all the crazy things my mother says to us. Turns out that the SIL shared it with my brother and father. My father then called my mother that night and asked about it. Talk about shit hitting fans. She screamed at me and told me that she would never say that. I pointed out that she did in fact say it. She continued to deny. Then I had to deal with pouting and pointed sighing for the next 24 hours. I called the sister in law back and informed her that I will be beating both her and my father the next time I’m in town.

But the wedding was fun.