Z and I don’t actually talk much mostly because she is Z and I am her stepmother. So I was a bit surprised when she came up to me soon after getting here on Friday and asked for my help.
“I need you to help me cast a spell because you are a witch.”
I’m not actually sure where she got that idea. Maybe she heard her mother call me something that rhymes with that but I don’t discourage the notion. I consume a steady diet of fantasy books and tv shows. My whole life has been leading to this point. My first response was an enthusiastic “YES!”
Turns out she is following a youtube person who has videos about how she was transformed into a fairy. We aren’t talking makeup tutorials here. We are talking full on becoming one with the Fae. Of course, I asked what we needed.
- Flowers – Um, Ohio in February? She said that if they were out of season we could use fake flowers. I would think that is against the Fairy Code but what do I know? I’ve never turned into a Fairy.
- Glitter – Of course we need glitter! I don’t have any though.
- Water – no problem
I was all the way through this discussion before coming to my senses and realizing that was not talking to another fantasy fan but was in fact dealing with a child who has no concept of reality, so I explained that just because it is on youtube doesn’t mean it is real. She isn’t buying it. It is real. There is a Latin spell and everything. There is a video of day 5 of her transformation where she shows her wing buds. They look like smeary makeup stains on her shoulder blades to me but Z is convinced. She is watching more videos that seem to require you to paint symbols on toilet paper rolls with nail polish. If I was making this video I would have said drawing with rose water on the trunk of a tree. Seriously, does no one study up on the basic properties of fantasy species anymore before posting videos? I’m offended.
I decided to watch some of the videos to see what we had to refute. This is my favorite of her videos.
It was totally worth watching for the line “If you are watching this you probably have fairy dust lying around your house. If not, get some. There is black market…” That made my night.