My dad is having a surprise retirement/birthday party for my mother this weekend. My dad is not good at subterfuge. He left me a message on my cell phone today to call him to tell him if I was coming. He said to call him at home and make up a reason why I needed to talk to him.

I called him back on his cell phone. We discussed everything and then he said that he was going to give his phone to my mom.

Him: Make up a reason why you called on this phone instead of hers.
Me: Ok.
Him: I don’t know where she is….
Me: Uh, Dad? If she’s not near you then she doesn’t know I called so I don’t need to talk to her and make up a reason why I called.
Him: I think she’s upstairs…
Me: You don’t need to find her.
Him: Here she is.
Mom: Good, use up his minutes for a while.
Me: Mom, we’re on the same network. The calls are free.
Mom: Yeah, I know. What’s up?
Me: I heard that you are getting 6-8 feet of snow today. Just calling to mock you.

Look at that. Where did I learn to lie? I didn’t even think of that ahead of time. It just rolled off my tongue. Obviously it isn’t genetic.

In the interest of truth they only got 1 inch of snow. That’s still too much.