1.  Yes, as a matter of fact I do “f#=%in’ know it’s Christmas.” I know this because everyone turned super nasty right after Thanksgiving.  Yes, I do have a lot of nerve charging for medical care. Yes, I still expect you to pay your bill.

2.  Do not answer your cell phone in the middle of our discussion about your dog’s history. Especially do not answer it if you are going to say, “Hey, I’m at the vet with Buddy….. No, they don’t know what’s wrong with him yet.”  Hang up your phone and talk to me and we’ll try to figure it out.

3.  If your kids are so immature that the sight of a thermometer will have them doubled over with laughter, leave them home. I swear I just about smacked a kid who was screaming “She’s touching his butt,” and laughing hysterically.

Yes, I do have a grumpy today. Why do you ask?