My life of crime is over. I always thought that I could go on the world’s most perfect crime spree because I had no record of my fingerprints anywhere. I would be a mystery to law enforcement. But, no more. I got fingerprinted this morning.

That’s not as easy as you’d think it would be. Last week all the state computers were down for maintainance. Then I could only go to the jail here on Thursday mornings. I could go to the YMCA in another town any day from 9-4. I went there on Monday and they said that I could only come on Wednesday – Friday from 9-12:30 and 1:30 to 4. I went back on Wednesday at 1:30 but they hadn’t come back from lunch yet. I left at 1:55 to get to work on time and they still weren’t back from lunch. So this morning I went to the jail. They had a sign up saying that they cancelled fingerprinting for today. Then I remembered that a local college could do it. I called there and they said I could come in. They were nice to me even though they (jokingly) said that I looked like trouble so it was a good thing they were doing a background check on me. The lady taking the prints made the cop memorize my name so when I come back tomorrow to pick up the results he’ll have them ready for me.

After all this I was quite disappointed to find out that they only take the prints from 4 fingers. After making multiple unproductive trips in the pursuit of fingerprinting I wanted it done right. I wanted all 10 fingers scanned so I would get my money’s worth. After all, having never been fingerprinted before the report is going to come back blank anyway.