–  I finally got my dress back from the seamstress.  She told me that she felt really bad about last time because “it only needed 15 more minutes to be done.”  Then she didn’t take credit cards and I had to get cash to ransom my dress.

— My tech came in and said that my next appointment was for a “Pugabull”.  Some fool bred a Pug and a Bulldog.  I asked if it was able to breathe.  I thought I was just being a smartass since neither breed has good respiratory capacity.

I walked in the room and the owner said, “I’ve never had a dog before but his breathing sounds abnormal to me.”  It took every ounce of strength I had not to yell, “Well, no shit!”  The poor puppy has super tiny nostrils and can barely breathe.  I explained the problem and she said, “So that’s normal for this breed?”

What I wanted to say:

This is not a “breed”.  This is a mutt.  I can’t help it that you didn’t do any homework before wandering into a pet store and falling for a cute puppy who you then paid over twice as much for as I paid for my first horse.  You were scammed by a pet store with a history of passing off mutts as designer breeds.  If you wanted a nice mutt you should have gone to the pound.  And, anyway, how does “He can’t breathe well” sound like something normal to you??????

What I did say:


If I had gone off on my rant I would have ended it screeching like a banshee.

— The SO found the composter.  I’m sticking to my story of passing ruffians depositing it in our backyard. 

— My replacement vet told the staff ever so sweetly that if she ever forgets to say please and thank you to them then they should know that it is implied.  A bit later I asked one of the techs to do something.  She arched an eyebrow at me and asked if I forgot something.  I said, “Now!”  I thought it was polite because I didn’t add the cuss word after it that I was thinking of.  She laughed.  We aren’t accustomed to overpoliteness around here. 

— This is Rudy. 


He’s hanging out here while his people (my boss) is on vacation.  He has a tennis ball and a Kong toy which work great for rolling my feet on to stretch out my soles where my plantar fascitis is starting to flare up.  He’s mildly offended by the use of his toys but I told him that I was making his toys stinkier which no dog is going to turn down. 
He also keeps jumping up in my lap whenever another dog comes in.  Of course, that’s when I need to get up and work and I can’t cuddle.  I have to make him get down every time and now I feel bad.  Freckles does the same thing.

— This town has idiotic laws against pitt bulls.  Basically they can seize any pitt bull.  They require them to be rabies vaccinated, microchipped, have liability insurance, and go out in public muzzled.  The dogs don’t have to do anything wrong for this to happen to them.  I saw a dog this morning who was taken out of his backyard where he was tied out to go to the bathroom because their yard isn’t fenced.  He came in all muzzled up like a killer but the worst thing he would do to you is beat you senseless with his tail.  Ohio just passed an antidiscrimination law that says you can’t condemn a dog on breed alone but it doesn’t trump any local laws.  The worst part is that locally a pitt bull is anything the warden says it is.  Registration papers, DNA tests, and anything else is irrelevant.  If the dog warden says your poodle is a pitt bull then he is and there is nothing you can do but comply or have your dog killed.

Of course, seeing all these dogs out in public with muzzles on just confirms to the public that all pitt bulls are evil.