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Family

The Agent of Chaos

I am an introvert. My husband is WAY more outgoing in public with strangers. I tend to sigh a lot and pretend I don’t know him.

This weekend we went to a wireless phone store to look into switching our coverage. Normally I would do this myself to avoid everything that happens in the rest of this post but he needs to be the main person on the account into order to get the veteran’s discount.

We walk in and everyone is busy. We browse the displays. There is a big speaker playing music. He says he wants that for his cigar smoking area. “I could play Jim Croce really loud on that thing!” I consider making a request that we handle this in a business-like manner. Just the facts. I don’t. He’s a grownup human. He can act right.

One associate gets done with who she is helping and comes to us. He asks her if she needs a break. Bathroom? Need a drink? How’s her blood sugar? She assures him that she doesn’t and starts to get our info. We’re doing good until he says, “Now that you know all that about us, how about you?” He proceeds to find out all about her. I know that we are going to be here a while.

Before you think that he’s just being socially friendly and I’m a jerk, understand that I now know that this lady has the most seniority of anyone at the store including the manager. She doesn’t want the manager job because it isn’t that much more money and everything is your fault. The manager she liked got moved to another store. She is starting a side business in trucking. She wants to focus on local deliveries. He recommended that she look into pallet sales. Her uncle also recommended that. Somehow his cousin who was in San Quentin got brought up. I just wanted a new phone service to save some money.

There was a lot of talk about how life was when he worked in commercial phone service 30 years ago. There was a story about his parents getting a surprise $10 long distance bill in 1978. I wish I was making that up.

At one point another associate mentioned that we could get smartwatches with our sign up deal. Inside I’m screaming, “NO!” because he is a major watch snob and collector. A smartwatch is really going to start a rant. But he walks away from the counter to talk to that guy so we were actually able to get some signing up for phone service business done.

Then I hear a horrified “It has a battery?” Yes, he is a mechanical watch snob. No, we don’t want smartwatches. Next thing I know, the guy is telling him about a fancy watch that his uncle gave him. He’s sad because he dropped it and it broke. He has it in the car. Does The Husband want to see it? Of course he does.

The guy brings the watch in. The Husband immediate says it is a fake. The guy is shocked and asks if he is sure. He goes off on all the reasons why. Now I’m thinking that he’s started a family feud. He backtracks a little and says that it is still a nice looking watch then has to add “for a $50 fake.” Time to go.

He’s an agent of chaos.

2 Comments

  • Helen Murdoch

    I love this post. My dad and daughter are the introverts and my mom and I the extroverts. My mother could almost give your husband a run for his money. Almost, but not quite. I hear you and sympathize. 🙂

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