Adoption

Application

Our adoption application is going out in the mail today. We decided to go with the only agency in the state who condescended to respond to our request for information.

They asked some hard questions on the form. Actually the questions weren’t that hard but it was hard to make an answer that sounded good but didn’t make you sound like a total jerk. It was stuff like, “What qualities do you have that would make you a good adoptive family?” and “What characteristics do you want in a potential adoptive child?”

The biggest disagreement we had was over the religion question. The husband didn’t want me to put that I was a pagan. He says that no one will give us a kid if I’m an out pagan. Exact quote – “If you had to choose between a normal person and a pagan who would you give the kid to?” Unfortunately for this argument I’ve already declared that there will be no lying in this adoption. If we are declared to be unfit on the basis of who we truly are then so be it. This will be very hard for him because he’s the type of person who continously feels the need to make things sound “better” by exaggerating the facts. So as a compromise on this form I’m going to “forget” to fill in the religion line on my part of the form. He doesn’t realize that this will be covered in depth probably in the home study.

4 Comments

  • Dawn

    You’re doing foster-to-adoptk, right? I have no idea what the foster care caseworkers might look like in your neck of the woods but I’m with you — may as well have it out there because who needs to start lying about something that important?

    Good luck!!

  • Autumn

    I understand you wanting to stand up and say I’m Pagan, and I think it sucks that so many people do not accept it for what it is. They try and make it out that the Pagan belief system is something evil. Saddly though I have to agree with your husband on that one. It may not be a good idea. I think if you want to list Pagan that maybe you should list it as Wiccan. That is a legally reconized religion, and I think by law they can not turn you down for stating it as your choice. Just something for you to think about

  • Lisa

    Good luck with your adoption process. I was adopted, and just spent the weekend with my mom and she talked about some of the things she went through trying to adopt my sister and I. At one point she was flat-out told, there are no babies, give up your dream (this was before there was a lot of international adopting) but 6 months later, she got a call about my sister.

    Also, my mom used to sell vintage fabric at the international quilt show and I always love walking around looking at the quilts; even though I come from a long line of Amish quilters (who also donated their quilts to charity, by the way), I haven’t managed to complete one myself. Maybe one day!

  • Nio

    I live by the same ‘don’t lie’ rule that you do. I would’ve put on the form that I am Pagan but I also see your husband’s POV. In the end though, I would’ve put it on. If the adoption agency ruled me out because of that, f**k them.

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