I’ve seen Cross Fit videos online before.Â I realized there is a Cross Fit gym near my house.Â I decided to sign up for their free introductory evaluation.Â
I could say because I’ve been lazy and I need someone to tell me what to do.Â I could say it is because I’m wearing pants of an unacceptable size.Â But actually it is because I’m a moron.Â I see things that are described as incredibly hard workouts and my brain says, “Hey, I should do that!!” Stupid.
Anyway, I had my evaluation today.Â The timed test for today was 500 m on the rowing machine, 40 squats, 30 sit ups, 20 pushups, and 20 pull ups.Â First, they had me do a few of each move to see if I could do them.Â Then they modified the test to my beginner level.Â They realized immediately that my legs are strong (damn their competence) so I had to do the full row distance and 20 squats.Â Not wimpy squats either.Â Squat-until-your-butt-hits-the-medicine-ball squats.Â They also correctly inferred that my arms are made of spaghetti so I got to do way less of the upper body moves.Â The whole thing is timed so you are moving quickly and the trainer is recording your time for each move on your permanent record.Â
When I finished he complimented by lower body strength and said to go get a drink.Â I managed to walk but my quads were completely numb.Â It took a while to get feeling back.Â That wasn’t even a work out.
The worst part?Â You have to take 6 beginner group classes to start.Â The only time I can take the classes?Â Five in the );’&=%$> AM.Â I’m not a morning person.Â I think that they are perky morning people.Â At least I can go back to bed for a while after my workout.Â Â