Yay!!!!!!! I’m divorced!!!!! Let the happy dancing ensue!
I had the divorce decree paperwork with me. In the flurry of signing everything the last time we filed we signed that too. I figured that they’d want us to sign it at the hearing so yesterday I found a half dried up bottle of white-out and used it, a copy machine and a half hour of my life to make it look like it hadn’t been signed. I got there and checked in and the lady asked for the decree. I handed it her and she looked it over. She handed it back and said, “Both of you need to sign this before the hearing.”
Then we got there and the judge read all the provisions over and asked if we agreed. We did. Then she asked if we wanted to grant the petition for divorce. I continued to answer, “yes” but the ex said, “Yes, please” in a slightly desperate tone. I refrained from either giggling or kicking him under the table. Then when she said that she granted it he said, “Thank you” with a bit too much relief. I was holding my giddiness inside.
He had to fill out a form for a new address. I gave him a pen. When he finished it, he handed the form and the pen to the bailiff. I said that the pen was mine and the bailiff started picking on him for being divorced for less than 5 minutes and already stealing from me.
We went outside and I started laughing and mock yelled at him for the desperate “yes, please”. I told him that he should hold his joy inside like I was until we got away. The poor guy. No wonder he had to move to a whole other state to get away from the crazy people here.
You know, they never asked either one of us for ID. I could have taken anyone in there and pretended it was him.