Men don’t think right.

The plan- the husband drives to the city I’m flying into and we have a vacation. He’s booked the hotel.

The reality – I call the husband as the plane is taxiing. About 5 minutes later he calls me back and asks where I am. Instant irritation. Does he think I stopped off for a nap on my way to baggage claim? Then it turns out that he doesn’t know where the hotel is. Matter of fact he doesn’t remember the name of the hotel he booked. Commence driving aimlessly around the city looking for free WiFi so he can look it up online. After an hour we get to the hotel. I am left in the car with the computer running on my lap while he goes to check in. I decide to play a game on the computer. I hit the wrong button and find his porn stash.

When he comes back to the car and I cuff him upside the head and say I found his stash, what is the correct response?

1) Contrite apology for being a pig
2) An enthusiastic “Do you want to watch it with me?”

Guess which one he picked.

Other statements over the course of the night which make a girl think that he has absolutely no sense whatsoever.

1) A long discourse on how it was free so that is good, right?
2) The girls are ugly because there was no preview on the free site.
3) Better than going to a strip club, right?
4) Don’t you make a habit of watching porn? Uh, no dear. First of all, dial-up at home. Second, no.

Repeat any and all of the above at random. If I was seriously mad in the first place, I would have been homicidial by the end of the night. Top it all off by coming to the realization that “You are making me feel weird about this now.”

Congratulations on finally getting the point!