Mothers

/ posted in: Family

Well, thank god that’s over. My mother became seriously unglued over this shower. She wasn’t terribly tightly adhered to begin with. It was over stupid stuff too. We went to set up on Friday night and she had forgotten the favors. She made me drive home to get them because it was super important that we took the time to set them out that night. It took me all of 30 seconds to put them out and 20 minutes to drive home and back. Let’s not even mention the scene in the little local grocery store where I flat out insisted that she buy styrofoam cups for coffee instead of driving to a larger city at 9:00 at night in search of prettier cups. She spent weeks making gift baskets for doorprizes. Saturday morning the first words she said to me were, “I’ve been up all night because I don’t like the baskets.” So she went and tore them all apart. Apparently you couldn’t see the gingham. Apparently she had a gingham theme going starting with the invitations. If a fabric-obsessed person like me hadn’t noticed there was a fabric theme, I don’t think anyone else would have either. But I have too fine of a sense of self-preservation to mention such a thing to a crazy person.

The shower itself went off fine. I gave the quilt I made. The future SIL did the same thing everyone else has done. She looked at the pretty fabric on the back with the very visible quilting design and held it up for everyone to ooh and ahh. I then have to say, “Uh, that’s the back. Turn it around.” Then everyone is amazed that there is a pattern. If I had known that everyone would be so excited by the fabric off the sale rack at JoAnn’s I could have saved myself a lot of piecing time. 🙂

After the shower I went with my future sister-in-law to take the gifts to their new apartment. It cracks me up that they have had this apartment for almost a month and no one is living in it. The official answer to why from my brother? “We’re poor, damnit!!” That’s his answer to everything now. No more free electric and tv because they live with their parents.

We had a nice chat about our family. It is the first time we’ve spent any time alone and she had questions. She had questions about my mother hearing you state a preference for one thing and she takes that as gospel. No changing your mind until you die. For example, when I come up she makes sure she has cheese whiz in the house because I eat cheese whiz on toast for breakfast. Now, you won’t find cheese whiz in my house because I don’t eat it. But this belief gets reinforced at her house because it is all she has for me to eat so I eat cheese whiz for breakfast every day.

At the shower I wore a skirt with no nylons. I can safely say that this is the first time in my entire life that this has happened. I always wear nylons. I’m obsessive. 110 degrees in the shade and I would have nylons on. I was proud of my daring yesterday. We get back from the shower and are discussing what to wear under the sheer bridesmaid dresses. She mentions nylons. I proudly say that I didn’t wear nylons that day. She says dismissively, “Oh I know you never wear nylons if you can get away with it unless you are here and borrow knee highs.” Uh, she buys them for me every Christmas. I wear knee-highs whenever I work.

The main thing about parenting my mother has taught me is to never assume you know the first thing about your kids. The future SIL was glad to hear that. She said that Mom often will tell her things about my brother and she is left wondering if my mother has actually ever met my brother.