I have done something wrong in the eyes of my mother. I’m not sure what it is. She is very passive-aggressive when angry, although she would deny this vigorously. If I asked her what it was she would probably deny any problem at all.

Here are snippets from our last two conversations:

Me: I hope for the wedding they (the hairdressers) don’t try to give me helmet head.
Mom: Some more body in your hair would be nice. I remember that at your cousin’s wedding your hair had more body and people actually said it looked nice. But you’ll do what you want to do. You make your hair flat on purpose.
Me: I brush it so it dries straight and not kinky.
Mom: See, you do it on purpose so you don’t look nice. If someone told you that your hair looked good you’d change the style just to be spiteful.

What was that about? Apparently I last looked good in 1999 and only for one day. Thanks Mom.

Conversation Two:

Me: I ordered a veggie sub for lunch at a clinic on Friday and got to listen to a speech about how someone knew a vegetarian once and her doctor made her eat meat because it is not healthy to be a vegetarian.
Mom: If they knew you better they’d know that telling you that will just make you more belligerent.

So she is trying to get the message across that I am both spiteful and belligerent. The conversations lose something without the disapproving tone of voice. Since I am happy with both my hair and my diet I’m not planning any changes. But knowing my mother this is not at all about either subject. I called my brother and relayed the conversations.

Me: …so apparently I am belligerent and spiteful.
Him: hmmmmm… (Laughs)
Me: I’m not totally denying the accusations just the reason for bringing them up now.
Him: Well ok, then. I don’t know. I haven’t heard anything new bad about you lately.

He’s so supportive. I’m just going to refrain from talking to her until the bridal shower this weekend. That may give her time to settle down from whatever I did. It’s amazing how I can manage to get in trouble when I don’t even live in the same state.