Last week I mentioned that my pants were starting to fit a bit differently. Yesterday I put on the same pants straight out of the dryer and they were officially big. That of course means I spent most of the day showing people that I could pull my pants down too low. I’m a blast at parties.
So, this morning I decided to take some official pictures. I didn’t take before pictures because I knew they would be icky. But my pants are big! I can see muscles in my arms. At the end of week three I’m ready to wow the world with my new body. I put on a tank top and shorts and figured out the self timer on the camera.
Oh My God! I took the most unattractive portraits since Medusa’s high school graduation. My midsection has lumps and bulges like aliens are trying to escape. I looked at myself in the mirror and looked at the pictures trying to reconcile the two. I can’t.
I’ve decided to offer my services to makers of shady diet pills for their advertisements. I could make Kate Moss look like a 300 lb matron. It is a skill.
I took some pictures of me flexing my arms. If you ignore the whole rest of the picture you can see my bicep and shoulder definition. I’m holding on to that….