I have a solo, quiet, just me and don’t worry about anyone else trip coming up. I wrote about it here.
Now, the husband has decided that he is coming with me. So much for that plan.
Conditions to Go on Vacation with Me
I planned this vacation specifically around the fact that he wasn’t coming with me so I’m possibly doing things he won’t want to do.Â I told him that I’m not changing my plans so if he doesn’t like it, he can make his own plans for that time.
He said that he would just do whatever I was planning and that would be fine.
I plan our vacations. He doesn’t want any input until we are in the middle of it and then he bitches about every little detail. (For example, we were in Nice in the far south of France and he decided that we should just spend a day in Paris.Â Geography is important. I imparted an understanding but it was a painful process.) I hold myself back from killing him and then when we get home he tells everyone what a wonderful vacation we had.
There WILL BE showtunes.
If I can’t listen to the audiobooks I had planned for the trip (and I can’t, because he’s a talker), then there will be showtunes – including the entire Hamilton soundtrack, but I didn’t tell him that part.Â He asked today if I had Oklahoma on my iPod.Â I do not.Â I sang “Oklahoma” for him and then took a request for “Surrey with the fringe on top” which got interrupted by him insisting that a surrey was a car.Â No!Â I wasn’t having that.Â He finally caved to saying that it was a method of transportation and that was close enough. Harrumph.Â I’m not downloading Oklahoma but I do have the fine distinction of having not one but two Angela Landsbury songs on my iPod.Â “Beauty and the Beast” and “Substitutiary Locomotion”, thank you very much.
Get a @#$$%^%^% epi-pen
For a man with actual, literally life-threatening food allergies, he cares very little about safety.Â He never had an epi-pen until he met me and he still doesn’t carry one.Â The one I carry and the one in the house are expired.Â I informed him of this in April.Â I’m not going on vacation with him with an expired epi-pen.Â He doesn’t get in the car until I see an up to date one.
PTSD and unfamiliar northern Virginia traffic do not mix.Â I’m driving.Â Besides, my iPod plugs directly into my car for better showtune enjoyment.
Oh, dear readers, it will be hot and there is a lot of walking on my plan. There will be whining. He says there will not but seriously, husbands are a bit like toddlers on vacation. You have to keep them fed on a regular schedule and let them have scheduled breaks. It adds a level of difficulty. This has been true for both of the husbands that I’ve personally owned. Is it universal?
Yep, keeping husbands fed and rested is definitely key. That can be hampering to one’s vacation plans. Well, bravo for being clear about what you want and sticking to it. Maybe the experience will scare him off the next time you want to plan a solo trip?
I’m not sure if it’s universal. My dad was an anxious mess every time we went on a trip (it’s hard to explain, but it was miserable) but when my parents divorced things got so much easier (my mom and I have no problems with each other on vacations- we actually enjoy them now). I was going to suggest you download Oklahoma! for the express purpose of starting each day with “Oh What a Beautiful Morning” blaring. Maybe then he wouldn’t want to tag along again. 😉
If I don’t have the music though I can provide him with an off key accapella version with mangled words every morning. That’s even better.
Uh oh. I’m sure it will be… fine? Anyway, A+ gif selections.